Josh thinks loneliness among men is at the root of other problems (Picture: Jeff Gilbert) ‘We are looking at the dark side of trader lifestyle and peer pressure which dovetails into toxic macho-ness.
He says: ‘She works with us through group coaching and one-to-one sessions, but also she has interviewed me in a series of programmes as we discuss the challenges and fear of being macho, accepted and ridiculed as a trader Now at his company there is a resident female psychologist to help ‘teach the dangers’ of this perception of masculinity. Though there is perhaps a generational divide at play here, some believe there is no such thing as toxic masculinity in our society anymore.
I got slapped on my face and told to wise up. ‘Another time we were in the local café getting breakfast and I ordered a blueberry smoothie. ‘The head of our desk came up and put his arm around me. I thought he was going to comfort me but he said: “you see that girl over there”, pointing to a girl at the other side of the room, “you and her are the same – you both don’t have any balls.” ‘One time I had a bad trading day at work and I was really upset – almost in tears,’ he remembers. Women aside, toxic masculinity affects the way men treat their peers, as Patrick has experienced. ‘I grew up in the 1970s when a lot of things were “acceptable” and now thankfully they are not,’ he says, but thinks there is still some way to go. Patrick believes toxic masculinity is affecting both men and women at work (Picture: Patrick Reid)Īdmitting that in the past he too engaged in this kind of behaviour, he’s done the work to fix this within himself and now tries to prevent this attitude presenting itself in others. ‘When you consider the imagery that’s portrayed everywhere – even on men’s health products – of the guys with well-toned bodies, it’s no wonder.’ ‘The majority of men want a flat stomach and to get rid of their love handles – and I’d say they’re under more pressure to achieve this,’ he says. Nick believes there’s more pressure to look a certain way now than men have experienced before. Thanks to Love Island and Instagram influencers, men are faced with a body standard: a defined six pack with a deep ‘V’, biceps and thick quads. Nick Wardle, a 40-year-old owner of Loughborough’s Body Transformation Centre thinks men need to be careful when it comes to their bodies as well as their minds. ‘I want to help change the narrative,’ he says, ‘I was at first a little skeptical about being vocal around mental health and my own personal experiences, especially when it came to investors, but there’s been a few that have even opened up about their own stories.’ ‘Look after it and champion that process rather than seeing it as an unchangeable flaw,’ he adds.Īt work, where it can be particularly challenging to disclose mental health issues, Sonny leads with his in the hopes it will inspire other male colleagues to do the same. Sonny believes what needs to change is how mental health is showcased differently to physical health, believing men need to see their potential to ‘strengthen’ their headspaces as they do their bodies. He is grateful when successful men in the public eye share their stories of mental health struggles, as it helps normalise the deep-rooted issue that is at odds with ideals of masculinity. ‘It’s easier to conform than it is to challenge, and I think men have a very hard time detaching from pride and ego.’ ‘As someone that’s always been competitive, it can be hard to openly show any signs of “weakness” – which despite what people say is still how mental health is perceived by a lot of men today,’ he explains. Upon diagnosis, he struggled to accept his illness at first, partly due to the attitudes that can be typically on men and mental health. ‘It can be hard to explain intrusive thoughts to someone that’s never suffered, but when you’re in the grips of OCD, it’s terrifying.’
It reared its ugly head however during university and I really struggled with intrusive thoughts,’ he says. ‘I think I’ve had obsessive tendencies all of my life when I look back. By now we all know the terrifying statistic that suicide is the biggest killer of men under 45, and this doesn’t surprise Sonny, who lives with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).